Relationships are fields we cultivate together, whether we know that or not. They don’t exist independent of us.
Are there general rules by which we can judge and measure relationships? When? When they begin? When they end? When they’re struggling? When they’re easy-going?
People say all sorts of things when they’re hurting, needing to throw that pain out. Then they assume they can be excused, “forgiven,” “take back” what they said because they “didn’t mean it.” But words spoken don’t work that way. Neither do thoughts fused with emotions that aren’t spoken. They still travel, influence the mutual field and the wider field.
Words are powerful. But not the surface symbol — the meaning behind it and the intention it carries. Regardless of whether the mechanics, the effects, the laws of energy are known or not.
Real dialogues are rarer than commonly assumed. They require real contact with one’s inner self in real time — not before, not after — coming in contact with another.
Time and space are relative. Which means “in relation.” More often than not, we are neither in the same space, even though our bodies might be, nor in the same time, even though our clocks agree. We are often in our own personal time, irrelevant to the other, trying to create a bridge in space, with different coordinates — one speaking from an old wound, another from a future fear, and one, rarely, from what is happening now, which requires contact with one’s own state in real time, before it is justified or defended — not a rehearsed position.
Einstein’s relativity equations are rarely thought of in terms of human relations. We think those are different domains, not related to one another. So knowledge doesn’t overlap, doesn’t get transferred to surrounding fields.
Relational fields aren’t soil, aren’t flowers, aren’t cultivated by hands or machines. They are cultivated by ideas, beliefs, needs, desires, emotions, words, thought, imagination; by perception. And yet, there it is, staring back at us: culture.
No one is really isolated. Inside the self, there are people, places, past experiences — constant communication with all of that, regardless of whether one is aware of it or not.
We are taught that none of it matters. That what matters is what we do. In reality, our inner fields, our dreaming, our inner life are the origin — the cause and creation space of our perception. Not the consequence, not the after-effect. The outer naturally influences with data, not architecture.
It constrains; it does not author.
Contributes information, not creation.
We can always see who we really are when things go wrong.
That’s why they go wrong.
So we can see.
We can always see who we really are when things become unfamiliar.
That’s why they become unfamiliar.
So we can see.
